The Distractor’s Cut: Heirs Episode 12

Ekun: Will she let go girl? Rose told Jack to never let go….


Unnichan: I don’t know… But that ship sank, so…

Ekun: I feel like this wasn’t a real let go… It was just for show.

Unnichan: Of course it wasn’t. But not just for show because she felt it was for the best. Girl I got my lighter in the air with this song…

Ekun: Young Do! You rolled on your own-Stop it!

Unnichan: I told you Young Do sucks, man. He just does too much sometimes. He’s emotionally abusive like Dukes.


Ekun:Uh oh! She calling you out Young Do… 98th place. Hehehehe.

Unnichan:  You throwing parties Young Do? I tell you. You and this emotional insensitivity. Insane. Why would she let you catch her? How can she trust that?

Ekun: There Tan (Lee Min Ho) goes with that staring; I told him about in the beginning of the show!


Unnichan: He ain’t ever putting that down, dude. Wait, they pulling out the big guns for this OST!! I love Lena!

Ekun: Why is he trying to be all aggressive with Chan Young?!

Unnichan: That’s all you care about right? Whether she was with a dude? Get that together.

Ekun: Of course Tan does… It’s like part of the “guy code”. Why is Young Do such a stalker?!

Unnichan: Cause he’s good at it. He’s 98th place remember.


Ekun: Myung Soo always asking the great questions.


Unnichan: I wanna facetime with Young Do… BO NA he’s posed to Photoshop you?! The heck!

Ekun: F facetime! I am going back to high school. I can pass for a student, ne?

Unnichan: Maybe you do. I refuse to accept such vial assumptions.

Ekun: Yes that is how you look Young Do- a bit stalkerish but adorable somehow.


Unnichan: I know that’s right Myung Soo. It’s the LAW!!!! I love it. Bo Na and Myung Soo are the best. Their bickering makes my day.

Ekun: Momma no sympathy ever… You a rancid one.

Unnichan: See that’s all Momma is about.


Ekun: You know it just occurred to me that Madame Bang is that ho she was showing the house to in a few episodes back? So more than likely momma was a bar wench.

Unnichan: Yea girl!!!

Ekun: Tan you telling Hyo Shin? Ah… I have a bad feeling about this in general Unnichan.


Unnichan: Tan we can jog together. Hyo Shin ah!

Ekun: Hyung! Won! I love you! You want to poison people’s drinks? Daddy Yoon’s?! HA! I know it is hard on you Won.

Unnichan: Kekekeke. Hyung was hurt with that revelation last episode. I was too.


Ekun: Daddy! Lord he is a rat bastard through and through… I cannot believe he did this to this girl– wait, yes I can because he is the scum of the earth.

Unnichan: Exactly. I am in the street. If I was Hyung I’d be turning over tables and burning bridges. Poor Hyun Joo!


Ekun: No! NO! NO lawd No!!!

Unnichan: It’s like he caught her having a conference with Gargamel.

Ekun: Kiss my a** daddy WonTan! You are always the bad guy! Always! All day everyday!


Unnichan: See now Hyung, you don’t ask her these questions with WonTan present. I can’t girl!! I just can’t. It’s not even like that… OMG!

Ekun: Daddy is insufferable! You let him have it?! Ugh! Why do you play favorites and Sh****?! I hate that man.

Unnichan: How can WonTan do whatever he wants… Affairs, divorces, children, then stomping on other peoples’ lives? I am just spent.

Ekun: Girl, I am in here tearing up! You know I cannot deal with horrible fathers… It breaks my heart every time I see it because daddies are supposed to be great! I need a momo..

Unnichan: Girl, I can’t talk about how horrible these Daddies are. Fathers are supposed to be a lot of things and these are none. How can we expect these men to be worthy husbands and fathers when this is what they have to work with? Oh Hyung. My heart just broke. That one warning… And I’m done.

Ekun: Tan you followed her? That was sweet of you.

Unnichan: I know right. Cause that’s Tan. Precious.


Ekun: Yes, Hyung loves and talks about you Tan. He is a bastard to your face but can’t help but adore you. I know it’s hard.

Unnichan: Of course girl. Tan might cry at this bus stop. I would because I know Tan knows his brother loves him, but the confirmation is what makes the difference.

Ekun: I am going to try and ignore all the foolishness of Momma Tan. I don’t like how the show is trying to make me have sympathy for her.


Unnichan: I ignore her.

Ekun: Young Do! I love you! *Blows a kiss and a wink* I want some noodles too Young Do.


Unnichan: *catches kiss* Auniya.

Ekun: Unnichan!!!! *Gumiho Eyes*


Unnichan: Young Do is everywhere!!!!! I just can’t.

Ekun: Oh Snap! Young Do is going to catch her with her mom! He wants too much!

Unnichan: He wants it all. New socks, drawls… He’s all consuming. I told you! Ugh. How can his memory be that good? He’s supposed to be oblivious like the rest of us.


Ekun: Roll girl Roll! Don’t stay– you should have went with him! I would…

Unnichan: Ha.

Ekun: Dammit he went to the house! Young Do! Young! Fn! Do!

Unnichan: I just can’t with him today.


Ekun: The cogs! The cogs turning in his head girl! Oh no– Tan ah let it go… please don’t kick him today.

Unnichan: I can’t! I can’t! I mean I love the kick. But, no Tan. Not today.


Ekun: No Hyung! I can’t do the golf with him… Oh good, she left.

Unnichan: Young Do, why are you returning to the scene? Why does he worry me so? I told you he’s an investigative reporter. The heck!

Ekun: You keeping tabs Young Do?

Unnichan: Not just tabs, alphabetized records! That’s right Eun Sang. Young Do and his candor…. I’m melting! MELTING!

Ekun: Oh Young Do… I know you don’t know what you are going to do but you are “scary”. I like what you said to her though.


Unnichan: Yea, I might be hung up on him.

Ekun: ♫Every little thing that you say or do- I’m hung up… Hung up on you♫ My stomach turns every time I see Daddy Dukes. He really is a thug. He probably got his fortune through mob ties…

Unnichan: He DID! I told you he looked like he was apart of the yakuza without the specs!


Ekun: LOL! You did girl. But still, I thought he was perhaps a 2nd or 3rd generation but even their kids turn into thugs, ne?

Unnichan: The yakuza keeps every male child. If you’re a girl, you might be able to get out… Might. The Brothers Kim. Gotta love them together. Threats. I love them.

Ekun: Tan yelling and stuff! Young Do? I think you better leave this one alone for a momo.

Unnichan: I think that Young Do should do his exams to become law enforcement. He’d be a great prosecutor. Or mob boss… whatevs.

Ekun: Oh ok, that’s where the real issue is. Young Do I love you despite all your flaws but I NEED you to take responsibility boo! You are too old for this up in here. Look more objectively instead of at your own pain.


Unnichan: People don’t like to take responsibility but it’s not even like that. He knows it’s his fault. He knows what Tan knows but since he can’t hate himself anymore than he already does, he takes it out on Tan (and the world). It’s what people do. Not cool, but thems the facts. And I hate it.

Ekun: He not going to look at you Eun Sang. He has to “teach” you a lesson.

Unnichan: Lol. Oh now he’s teaching. Did he get that from you?


Ekun: Of course. Girls are stupid. They love sappy stuff like that. Bo Na! Don’t you know you and Eun Sang are friends? That’s why you in here telling Choi Young Do’s biz like it’s your own!

Unnichan: Hyo Shin ah! Tan the devil?!


Ekun: He came to see someone but it was not you Bo Na.

Unnichan: How you gonna talk about hopes and dreams when you don’t have any? Pass…

Ekun: Naw, Tan about to drop bombs! I feel it Unnichan! He doesn’t give an F about that engagement! I am scared!


Unnichan: Girl that’s Adele playing… he’s bout to sabotage.

Ekun: Momma Rae? Where is Daddy Yoon!? I am going to let it go because you are actually working…

Unnichan: Naw, she knows… Work means nothing. Text her.

Ekun: Oh no! She gotta make a living…

Unnichan: She multitasks. Um… I just think there are some things you keep to yourself Momma Rae. Especially since your daughter is the Devil’s kin and all.

Ekun: These two women are crazy! Obsolete and Momma Tan! Why we always yelling!? Why is Obsolete always playing a hateful character? She got to me in SG…

Unnichan: Secret Garden was the pits. She played a bamf Mom is Smile You, too. I guess she’s just good at it but…. Momma Tan is just stupid. Why should Obsolete have any courtesy for her? Sure there should be common decency but let’s get this straight, you are a mistress. And you all have been lying and keeping secrets for over 20 years.


Ekun: You right. Momma Tan, no matter how the coin tosses in the air you are always a loser because you were, are, and will be in the wrong.

Unnichan: Oh Tan… this stare gets me errytime!!!


Ekun: Tan! The F! You!

Unnichan: Don’t dream about me Tan.

Ekun: You get kisses for lies?! Is this a deal with Young Do too because…. I am 17 like you all too… (first lie). Water is red (second lie). California state flower is the red rose (third lie).


Unnichan: Ahahahha!!! Tan kisses cause he just wants to. He’ll make anything up to get some lip action.  I can deal with that. Any excuse.

Ekun: I can’t Momma Tan. You are wrong.

Unnichan: Why not Momma Tan? It’s cruel but you seem to forget. Amnesia. You know how I hate that juice. Why is it still on the market?!


Ekun: Why we all putting on the rich fake mask in here today!? This must be an exhausting way to live.

Unnichan: It’s sickening but that’s how they interact. Honestly, I don’t know how they weed through the bull.


Ekun: My heart is not so good Unnichan since Tan walked in the door…

Unnichan: You know mine is weak. He’s bout to bloshitup. Where’s Tablo?

Ekun: TABLO! I still want that hat…

Unnichan: You know I can’t. But I love it. He’s going to tell her. man.

Ekun: Ara. This is headache worthy watching… Where are my meds?

Unnichan: *passes bottle*

Ekun: Thanks. Obsolete please! Stop beating a dead horse!


Unnichan: It’s true. She should. It’s tiring but I think what’s worse is Momma Tan not understanding why Obsolete is like this. She’s crazy because Momma was wrong. A golddigger.

Ekun: Momma Tan is just stupid. I can’t with her…Tan you are a “saint” because your mom could care less about you but you really do love her.

Unnichan: He does. He does.

Ekun: Oh SH**********!!!!!!! Tan did it!


Unnichan: I KNEW IT!!!! Thank God. It’s about time.  Throw it all away Tan. ASA!


Ekun: Daddy bout to take his last and slap the mess out of Tan. I hope he dies in the process (I know that is harsh but he has ruined countless lives).

Unnichan: Do it Daddy and die! I love this color Momma Rae.


Ekun: Tan, see. But you knew your Momma don’t care about anything than money.

Unnichan: It’s heartbreaking. But we knew. If they get kicked out she’ll blame him forever, dude.

Ekun: Momma! I don’t want to hear the lies in here today! You should have rolled to Cali with him! Shut the F up TODAY!

Unnichan: I know that’s right. She did that cause she wanted him to take over something that isn’t his. I just can’t do this. Not when there are women in the world who really love their children and do anything to protect and shelter them.

Ekun: Eun Sang! Thinking about them fools you are going to lose your job! Get it together.

Unnichan: I told you. She messing up orders, can’t even mop straight… It’s chronic.


Ekun: These fools are always outside this little shop.

Unnichan: Kekekkee. He needs her tonight… Like Backstreet.


Ekun: What the!

Unnichan: Whoa. That’s what they call an emotional rollercoaster, ne? This episode was… I can’t even begin to explain.

Ekun: ♫I’m on an emotional rollercoaster… loving you ain’t nothing healthy. Lovin you was never good for me–but I can’t get off!♫ Ha! The story did pick up to where I actually care more about what is going on than what Young Do is up to. Still my boo.

Unnichan:  I think we are finally getting somewhere and I quite like it. All the secrets are out, from Tan’s birth to Hyung’s love and my heart is officially in the street. Young Do is still making my eyes burn with his tortured soul. I can’t help but love him, eventhough I know it’s fruitless.

Ekun: *Sigh* What does a girl gotta do to be a part of your world Young Do?!


Ramble On...

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