What the What What?- Or Life Lessons from Secret Investigation Record (aka Joseon X Files)

If you see a pregnant man, there is something definitely wrong. That’s right- such tidbits of knowledge are everywhere in the drama gem Secret Investigation Record (aka Joseon X-Files).  This drama had 99 of the 100 elements of premise to create a horrible show. Somehow they pulled it off- really pulled it off. A Joseon era paranormal drama could have turned out worse than One Fine Day meets Big meets the worst parts of Santa and the Martians. But it did not- all the more reason to appreciate the lessons it can teach us.

Henceforth are the important life lessons I learned from the sci-fi delight Secret Investigation Record….

1. Secret investigation records cannot end well.

Seriously- you really think being privy to that secret library the government keeps will have an ending where you retire to Cancun with a cute waiter? Ha. Nope- think about it. Really think about it.

Life lesson: Most things are best left unknown. Especially anything that has to do with Honey Boo-Boo or the entire cast of Swamp People.


2. Those weird attacks? Probably a monster’s victims lured into a nefarious trap by the monster’s parent(s)

In 12 episodes how many times can you use the same monster-bait-luring technique? Apparently more than once. Stupid villagers.

Life lesson: Dead people with weird bite marks? Probably the work of the president of the PTA. After all, a good parent would do anything for their child.

3.  The Truth is Probably Out There

Really. There is a good chance it is somewhere out there. Wherever out there is.

Life lesson: It would suck if you knew everything. Think about it- you could never play “Where’s Waldo” again. Major fail. For the entire world.

4.  Tobacco use = Creepy government agent or just evil tool

Reference multiple instances- Cigarette smoking man, Cruella Deville, and the entire cast of Mad Men.

Life lesson: I think enough examples exist. Cigarettes should have the following warning “Will probably make you into an evil super villain or you will work for the government. As a bonus you will get cancer.”

5.Yoda had a really great training tool.

Jedis are awesome. So are their training instruments.

Life lesson: Jedis are bitching. If their training tools, aka metal flying orbs, appear in Joseon Korea and cause intermittent time travel and alien abductions then I am in heaven (or is it other land, or the 4th dimension). Thank you Star Wars. Thank you Secret Investigation Record. I just had a sci-fi fan’s fleeting glimpse of paradise. Throw in a tardis and I will never speak again.

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